Stand for All

Most of us are familiar, thank goodness, with the simple courtesies. We know when to say please and thank you, we hold the door for the person behind us and, although we sometimes forget, we know to send a thank you note after we receive a gift.

There is another courtesy which, in the past, was as common as those above but we seldom see today. It is the simple, but powerful, act of standing up when we greet someone. Rising when you are either introduced to a person for the first time or when you greet an acquaintance is a gesture that never goes unnoticed or unappreciated.

Consider this scenario. Two businessmen are sitting and chatting in an office. A coworker of one stops by. Both remain seated and introductions are made. After making small talk the visitor moves on. Not necessarily rude behavior, but not respectful behavior.

Had both men risen when the visitor entered the office and introductions made from a standing position, the visitor would have left with a better feeling about himself and, most likely, a good impression of the men.

Like addressing individuals with the proper titles; Mr., Ms., Doctor, standing when greeting someone is a traditional way we tell the individual he is important in our eyes. This act is the first step in establishing rapport. When a gesture, even as small as this one, is done for the benefit of another; when someone focuses directly on us, with their eyes, their words and their actions, we react positively because he has made us feel good. He has made us feel valued.

College admission counselors also admit to being impressed with students who stand upon introduction or when another individual enters the room. They say it indicates the student is aware of others, has respect for his surroundings and for the occasion.

Unless you are strapped into your seat, rise when you greet someone. Stand up for your subordinates, your co-workers, your boss, your children and your children’s friends. Let each know he means something to you by making this almost effortless gesture.

Telephone Conference Call Etiquette

For smooth running of the telephone conference calls, please assist by following these few suggestions.

1. Complete pre-assignments prior to the conference call. Become familiar with the guest faculty by reviewing the bio-sketch. Review suggested reading materials.

2. Hook onto call 2-5 minutes early so the conference can proceed in a timely manner.

3. Identify yourself when hooking onto the call, unless the conference has already begun. Please state your name and Team.

4. During the call, always introduce yourself and where you are from (for example, "Arizona Team") when you start to speak.

5. During the presentation by guest faculty, jot down your thoughts and questions so that you can later contribute to the discussion. Your active participation is the most important element of this distance learning opportunity.

6. When speaking, please limit the length of your question or remarks to allow for ample time for others to participate.

7. Please keep your phone on "mute" when not directly contributing to the discussion. Office noises carry into the conference call. In some instances, the noise will block others from hearing the discussion.

8. If you must temporarily leave the call for a very short period of time, just leave your mute button on and come back as soon as possible.

9. Check to see if your phone system has music or radio playing for customers on "hold". If so, do not use the "hold" button if you must leave the conference call momentarily. The music will play into the conference call.

10. If you must leave the call early, just hang up without interrupting the conversation.

Thank you so very much for contributing to this discussion call!

Great Tips for Inviting Clients to Your Home for Dinner from my colleague and Etiquette Expert, Lydia Ramsey, author of Manners that Sell.

Kraft Foods has just released a new series of ads that will be aired on television over the coming year. The first one aired Sunday night, January 16th, during the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl on ESPN. The ads promote the all-American favorite, Mac & Cheese, and star the homeless man from Ohio with the "Golden Voice".

The scene is set in the home of the typical business man who has arrived for dinner with his business client in tow. You get the feeling that the guest's arrival was unannounced and unexpected by the wife who is clearly upset. The son is sitting in the background offering his view on what is taking place. The client/guest is obviously uncomfortable as he realizes that this was not a preplanned event with all parties in agreement.

So what should you do if you want to invite your client to your home for dinner? Is it even necessary? Under what circumstances should it be done?

Inviting a client to your home for a meal is less common today than in the past. Business people typically entertain clients and associates at restaurants. However, when there is a client who travels frequently, rarely has a home-cooked meal or has traveled from a foreign country, an invitation to a private home can be an unexpected treat. It is also a good way to build that important business/friendship relationship.

It should always be done under the right circumstances. Keep in mind these few points:

1. Check with your spouse first. That means asking permission.
2. Be sure that your home environment is welcoming. That means no sick and crying babies, no out-of-control teenagers or unruly pets.
3. If you have pets, make sure your guest has no pet allergies or phobias.
4. Your home needs to be clean, comfortable and ready for guests.
5. Be aware of your guest's dietary preferences. Inquire about allergies or restrictions. Your client may be avegetarian so ask first.
6. Keep an eye on the time for the sake of your business guest and your family.

Being invited to someone's home is an honor. It is important that everyone involved sees it that way and finds it to be a memorable event for all the right reasons.

If you want to learn more about what I have to say regarding inviting business clients to your home for dinner, read where I am quoted in the Dallas Observer in an article titled “Just What Year Does Kraft Foods Think ThisIs?”.

Happy Home Entertaining,

Don't forget to write thank you notes for the gifts you received. Here are some tips:

1. Use a quality correspondence card or fold-over note.
2. Begin with a polite greeting such as "Dear Mary."
3. Keep your note simple and to the point.
4. Refer to the item specifically. Don't say, "Thank you for the gift."
5. Say how you will use it or perhaps already have. "The brownies were delicious."
6. Express your gratitude once more before you close.
7. Use an appropriate closing like "Sincerely," Gratefully" or "Warmest regards."

Navigating the Holiday Minefield

Proper behavior in business settings can be a scary topic. It takes a long time to become completely comfortable with clients and colleagues. Then December comes along and businesspeople are expected to share greetings through holiday cards, gift buying, luncheons and cocktail parties. Whether you’ve just landed an entry-level office job, operate on the front lines with people who use your company’s product or service, run your own business, or hold any other position that involves maintaining business relationships, these tasks can seem overwhelming. They seem overwhelming because you don’t know the answers to questions like, “What do I wear?” “Who do I bring?” “Should I give a gift?” “Do I have to go?” There are too many opportunities to do the wrong thing! However, there are two guiding principles: treat each business contact as though he were the most important person in the world and always maintain your professionalism in all business settings. To assist you in interacting under these principles, here are five subjects to think about as you enjoy the holiday season with your colleagues and clients.

1. Gift Giving in the Office - Typically, gifts are given “down.” In other words, senior people give to their subordinates or the individuals who report directly to them. But, be aware of the particular gift-giving customs in your own business environment. If you are new, ask around. Often a supervisor will treat his or her staff to a holiday lunch. When gifts are exchanged, they should not be of a personal nature. It is not expected that an employee give to his supervisor. If an employee chooses to give his supervisor a gift, it should just be a “token” gift, perhaps holiday cookies or candy. It is also not necessary to exchange gifts with coworkers. However, if you are invited to someone’s home for a holiday party, bring a gift such as a box of chocolates, a bottle of wine or a holiday plant. If you host a holiday party, acknowledge any gift you receive with a thank you note.

2. Client Gift Giving and Holiday Cards – Everyone loves to receive presents, especially your clients. They will remember you and what you sent them. Choose your gift carefully and select one that is a reflection of your organization’s style and taste. Also, give thought and time to the cards you send. Make sure they are of good quality and reflect your company’s image and personality. Address them by hand. Yes, this is time consuming, but well worth it. Use holiday stamps and imprint the cards with your name as well as the company name. Also, add a hand-written, personalized note using a blue, fountain pen.

3. Respecting Cultural and Religious Differences - It is appropriate to wish everyone season’s greetings during the holiday season. If you are unsure of a person’s religious traditions and would like to acknowledge the holiday season, it is appropriate to simply say “Happy Holidays.” If you know that a colleague celebrates Hanukkah, both “Happy Holidays” and “Happy Hanukkah” are proper holiday greetings. Since gifts are also exchanged during Hanukkah, a present may be given if an office gift exchange is taking place. If you work in a small office setting, make sure that the differences are respected and no one feels left out. That goes for decorations, parties, gifts etc. Be particularly careful when exchanging gifts with your international clients. You may not be aware, for instance, that sending a clock to a Chinese client is bad luck and the way in which a gift for a Japanese client is wrapped is as important as the gift itself.

4. Holiday Parties – You will most likely find yourself invited to a number of different types of holiday gatherings. Your boss may have a weekend open house and you may be asked to attend with a guest. You also could be asked to a company cocktail party. It is not important that you go to each event. What is important is that you know which ones you should go to and which ones you can skip. In general, when your boss, or a senior person, invites you to a social occasion, you should attend, if only for a brief time. Senior management sometimes assesses one’s conduct during social occasions to determine who is suitable for career advancement. Also, you should use the opportunity to network with your co-workers. If the gathering is after work, and the invitation does not indicate otherwise, wear your business attire. Your responsibility as a guest is to make a point of talking with as many people as you can – especially the ones you don’t know. Ask these people more questions about themselves than you share information about yourself.

If you are hosting a holiday party, remember that it is inappropriate to extend a social invitation to a superior before he has extended one to you. That means, when you are planning your party, extend your invitation to those at your level or below. Send invitations to your co-workers home. This avoids the confusion that comes with verbal invitations, like what time it begins, the address etc. Also, if your party is on the weekend, you should invite your co-workers spouse. Most people prefer to spend their weekends with their families and will not want to leave them to attend a holiday party. As the host of the gathering it is your job to make everyone feel comfortable. Another commonly made business etiquette faux pas is to talk only about business during social occasions. To avoid this, draw the partners of your co-workers into the conversations. Find out about their lives and interests and make them feel welcome.

5. Maintaining Professionalism – Business Relationships are all about establishing rapport and rapport is developed in social settings. Although rapport building takes place all year on the golf course, over meals, and during receptions, much of it takes place during the holidays. Resist the temptation to hang out with the office crowd at the company party. Use the opportunity to network and get to know others in your organization. If you are one of the many adults who have a hard time mixing and mingling, there are a few things you can do to make yourself more comfortable. When you enter a room, look for a person who may be open to having a conversation with you. Look for someone who is alone or groups of three or more. Interrupting two people in the middle of a conversation is not a good idea. If you don’t know anyone, be honest. Admit it, state your name and offer a handshake. Ask questions of the person and be genuinely interested in what she has to say. Spend ten or fifteen minutes with each person or group of persons. Exit the group tactfully by excusing yourself immediately after you have spoken rather than after someone else has finished speaking. If a buffet is served, don’t heap mounds of food on your plate and never eat directly from the table. Take a reasonable size portion and go back for seconds if you wish.

Last, but not least, how much should you drink? Making a fool of yourself at the company party is not something you can recover from easily. So the answer is, once you start to feel the effects of alcohol, you probably have had too much. Once you lose control, and the alcohol begins to control you, you no longer appear professional. You lose all credibility and you’ve made a mistake that’s hard to fix. It’s just not worth it. If you have a hard time determining what your limit is, stick to soft drinks.

Contact us for Business Etiquette Training and Business Etiquette Training Materials 973-857-6200 etiquette@corbyoconnor.com

Some Cell Phone Rules

Turn Your Ringer Off: During All Meetings, Library, All Modes of Transportation, Theaters, Museums, Houses of Worship and Restaurants

Don not talk loud enough for others to hear. Excuse yourself if you must make or receive a call.

If you must make a call while commuting, ask your seatmate if he would mind if you made a quick call. Give him that courtesy.

Do not disturb others with too many calls. Send a text message or email.

Let your voice mail take a message for you. That is what it is for.

Professional Dress in the Winter

While summer is the time when most business image faux pas are made, winter brings its share of fashion eyesores. Here are some image tips to remember as you begin to change from warm weather clothing and bundle up for the commute and the chilly office.

Keep the pockets of your suits sewn closed. Most suits are sold this way. If not, stitch or have a tailor stitch the pockets in your suits closed. This will create smooth lines and eliminate bunching.

Purchase a high quality navy blazer. It can be worn with all neutral colors except black and dark brown.

When you wear trousers, make sure your blazer and trousers contrast in color and texture. Don't treat your suit as separates unless it was sold that way. Most suit pieces do not work well alone.

Lightweight cotton suits, jackets and trousers should no longer be worn. Wear darker color khaki with a wool gabardine jacket in a business casual environment.

White after Labor Day is fine but the garment should be made of wool. A winter white suit and blazer are stunning. But white shoes are for nurses in summer and winter.

Thin soled shoes should be replaced with heavier soles. You should not wear light colored shoes now or throughout the rest of the winter season.

Women should wear blouses with long sleeves or a jacket over a short sleeve blouse and coordinate the color value of your shoes to your nylons for the most slimming elongated look. When wearing dark colors, such as gray, you can match the color of your shoes and pantyhose with your skirt color.

Remove your lined, waterproof boots as soon as you get to the office. Don't wear them all day. They are too awkward and heavy.

Wear shoes in a darker shade than your hosiery. Wear a belt that is a bit darker than your trousers. The belt should match your shoes in color and material.

Wear leather gloves in black or brown. Knit gloves are for children.

Pastel colors are fine as long as the garment is a knit or wool, such as cashmere or merino.

Choose small stripes, plaids and geometric patterns for clothing and accessories. Floral patterns, especially small prints, do not mean business.

Do not allow your skirt or dress to hang below your coat. That is a very unprofessional look.

And finally, remove the little tag on silk scarves, wear a belt in belt loops and if you are petite and your sleeves are too long, take the garment to a tailor for altering.


Write and tell me of winter image tips I may have left out.